Juggle for who?

I am a young mother, with 2 little children whom I love dearly. I’ve been a stay at home mum (of sorts) since the first one was born. The reason for this is pretty simple, the career I had started in media not friendly for my motherly ambitions. I had to make a choice between building a public media brand and making some money of my own and being an available and involved mother. I made the latter choice much to the disapproval of a good number of people around me.

See the script says that a successful woman is one who has a good job, has solid professional standing and can afford not only to take care of herself but to be in a position to take care of her family should her partner be incapacitated. Yet all through my fairly short adulthood, I see living breathing evidence of the huge role an available and involved parent plays in moulding solid human beings. Let’s face it, under the surface of this new and exciting world where more women are occupying the workspace in more definite ways, where the conversation in the board room is preparing for an all female corporatescape, there are children  in fncy suits, big cars living big dreams who always wonder whats missing in their lives. I have seen women in their 40’s at the top of their careers start slowly unraveling at the fact that they have everything but their own child, or they have everything but a solid life companion. I listen to people in their 60’s panic at the idea of retirement because, ‘what else is there? The children are grown and gone, I don’t know the person I sleep next to.’ I’ve also heard some one in their 70’s wonder out loud who they are leaving their lifes work to because he does not know the people he apparently raised and trusts no one around him to carry on what he built. The point? Family is legacy. Broken families create broken people who look greata on the inside but are quite damaged on the inside. How can we hope for a better tomorrow if the drtivers of tomorrow are more comfortable spending their afterwork hours getting drunk or laid indiscriminately just so that they can have a crazy story to share with the peers the next day?

I want to be around my sons until they are about 5 years old. I want to ground them in a strong value and belief system. I want to personally be the one to note their milestones, cheer when they score and discipline when they err. I want to be the one who teaches them to say please and thank you. Nairobi work life has no space for mum. Being in traffic for 6 hours (3 to and 3 from) to be a present and valuable employee for at least 6 hours means the average Nairobi woman with homely aspirations has 12 hours to take care of domestic affairs, catch up with the kids, organize meals be a wife, keep her friends and family close and somewhere in between take care of herself and get a good nights rest.

Is it no wonder then that the number of children being abused sexually and otherwise by domestic abuse is rising? Is it a wonder then than cases of rickets and other childhood conditions tht had faded away are making a strong comeback? Is it a wonder then that we have children committing sucide after scoring less than they expected of themselves in exams?

As the public conversation moves to the boychild… I want to scout the next conversation we will be having 10 years from today. Who is spending time, quality time raising our children. Is the system good enough to nurture human beings who can be trusted to ensure the ‘better tomorrow?’

Baby in my hand, hustle on my mind...

Meanwhile, I’ll go back to cracking how me and my non-existent business savvy self can remain relevant in my field, making enough money to take care of me and help the hubz ease some pressure but most importantly be an available and present mum for two young men whom I know will be game changers in their prime.